Stephen and I have recently started a new chapter in our lives that does not include us ministering to teenagers on a weekly basis. Don't get me wrong, we miss it, but we also know that God will soon put us in a new place to start again. Stephen was a youth director for a while and we have seen our share of 'cyberbullying' as well as heard many stories of just downright 'bullying' along with numerous other things that not just teenagers go through, but adults as well.
We certainly don't know all of the answers nor do we think we ever will. Yet, we've tried to give our best advice, based on the Bible's advice, to a number of teenagers. Some have clearly listened-their lives show it. Others, eh, how do I put this-they just put up a road block and decided to keep us out. What's funny to me is that we only share this advice with them because we care about them. Not only that, but we also have been in many of their shoes before. But I'm afraid that some just never understood that. They didn't process that the time we spent with them-individually or corporately-that the effort, hours, tears, and heart we put in, or the prayers we said for them were all because we cared about them. Sometimes, I think, 'Did I try hard enough? Could I have tried harder?' With some, I think the only way we could have tried harder to get something across to them would have been to slap them. But that's against the law and I'm not sure if it would have worked anyway ;)
I myself am a very stubborn person so I can see how many teenagers (and people in general, for goodness sake) can be stubborn and set in their ways. People are people and God made them how he wanted. I can't see God's plan for them but I pray that one day some of the kids I've known will see it and follow it.
Anyway, cyberbullying makes me think about the internet in general. For all of you who do not know how to 'report' a post/picture/etc. on Facebook, you need to learn how to. Also, used the 'delete' button. You can also 'unfriend' or 'block' people too, as well as control your privacy settings so no one can message you unless you have accepted them as a friend. A lot of porn can be sent to you through messages from people you don't even know. Now, I don't have Twitter so I'm not up on how to manage it yet, but when I finally am, I will let you know!
OK, next. Parents. The internet is an open book to everything unless you take charge of it. Set parental controls and block sites. Lock safe search on search machines and save search results. Buy SafeEyes. It's worth every penny. And it's not even a lot. Go to safeeyes.com. You can monitor when your child gets on, what sites they see, what sites they don't see. You can block categories, words, videos, social sites, etc. Do you want creepers creeping on your children? Do you want them wondering across porn (let's hope they're really 'wondering')? Do you want your child telling who-knows about their phone number, school they go to, hometown? I didn't think so. Just go ahead and set that up. Unless you trust your child. Obviously, the choice is yours and not mine. I'm not a parent....yet :)
Get on your tv and block certain ratings and/or channels. Monitor who your child texts. If they have unlimited data on their phone, you may want to think about what to do with that as well, because that's the internet at their fingertips whenever they'd like.
All I'm saying is that you can't be your child's friend when they are young and/or immature or naive. You have to be their parent. Even if they get mad at you. It's our job to protect them and bring them up in the right way. It breaks my heart to hear of parents who are afraid to be a 'parent' to their child as they are afraid their child will not 'like them'...I know you guys can do it. Just get the guts and go for it! We'll support you...
We have a duty to set the example of how all relationships should be. Christ showed us. We have to show the ones we love too.
Overall, be a good example for your child and those you love.
'Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.'-Proverbs 22:6
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The below is just something has been on my heart and does not necessarily have anything to do with what I was talking about above....
I have come across a few people this past year who have been going through tough times in their lives. And the worse part is that they did nothing to deserve the hurt they are feeling right now.
For those of you who have been hurt by a loved one.....
How do you continue to love someone who has done wrong to you? Hurtful things, things that break your trust in them, and things that can alter the course of your life. You choose how to let it alter that course. You choose. You choose to love them.
How can you? You look at the greatest example known to all of mankind. The example that has changed the course of history. The one example that can carry you through anything in life.
I think about Christ. 'He was pierced for our transgressions...' (Is. 53:5)
All that mankind has done wrong has been put on the shoulders of the only perfect human to ever live. And you know what? He took it without complaining even when he did nothing to deserve it (maybe you did nothing to deserve what happened to you...think about it).
So, when you don't know how to love that person anymore, think of Christ. He has chosen to love you. Thank goodness love isn't a feeling, because I'm pretty sure Christ wouldn't really have felt like dying on a cross for me when he didn't deserve it let alone still loving me when I did that to Him.
Christ has not only chosen to love you but also the person who did you wrong. He's given you the example of how to love. 'We love because He first loved us' (1 Jn. 4:19)
When you think you can't do it, think again. Christ is here to help when you feel like you can't do it. Paul reminds us of this in 2 Corinthians 12:9: 'But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Seek to forgive and seek to love.
